The title of this post is misleading as it suggests
that I have some great insight into and experience with finding joy in the
chaos of my life. Far from
it! Too often I am stressed,
tired, cranky, and frustrated by the fact that there’s a seemingly never-ending
list of things that haven’t yet been done.
But tonight two things stood out to me during my
evening prayer just before sleeping that offer me a glimmer of hope about how I
might be able to discern and even experience joy in chaos. The first was a brief line from
tonight’s intercessory prayer in my guide for the Liturgy of the Hours. For tonight, Thursday evening between
January 2nd and Epiphany, this prayer read: “You gave Mary the joy
of motherhood—give all parents true joy in their children.” This caused me to pause and reflect on
my little ones. Too often I am
impatient. Too often I am in a
hurry to have them do one thing or another they are slow to do because they are
too involved in their own games, following their own agenda. Too little do I stop to bask in the
beauty and joy of having them and loving them. The stresses and cares of everyday can so easily bury this
joy. I pray your help, Lord, to
uncover and take pleasure in this joy.
The second thing that provided a glimmer of hope was a quote from a
commentary on the Rule of Benedict I read tonight. It is a quote from St. Catherine of Siena: "All
the way to Heaven *IS* Heaven, because He
said: 'I am the Way.' " What came to mind for me here was the joy I take in taking time to pray the Liturgy of the Hours (LOH). These times carry me temporarily to the wonderful times of prayer and peace I’ve had on monastic retreats. But also, especially while singing the Psalms, I imagine myself part of a large choir in heaven praising God using the words of the Church that have been prayed and sung for centuries. In this way, the LOH and the time of reflection and peace I have while praying and singing it, is truly an experience of the blessings and peace of Heaven—however dim this is on earth. With these reflections, I go with hope into sleep.
said: 'I am the Way.' " What came to mind for me here was the joy I take in taking time to pray the Liturgy of the Hours (LOH). These times carry me temporarily to the wonderful times of prayer and peace I’ve had on monastic retreats. But also, especially while singing the Psalms, I imagine myself part of a large choir in heaven praising God using the words of the Church that have been prayed and sung for centuries. In this way, the LOH and the time of reflection and peace I have while praying and singing it, is truly an experience of the blessings and peace of Heaven—however dim this is on earth. With these reflections, I go with hope into sleep.
